the dorothy effect…

For all who know me I think we’d agree that my path has not been straight and narrow (pun intended).  I wonder if that’s by choice or a higher power above is guiding me along the way.
Do you ever wonder about that?  Like no matter what you do it’s irrelevant because it’s predetermined?  Or maybe not?  Maybe I’m responsible for it all.   Or it’s a combination of both?. Anyway, I digress.
I’m at a place in my life – approaching yet another intersection where new decisions will have to be made. I’m reminded of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz on the yellow brick road when she encounters the scarecrow.
The conversation went like this:

Dorothy: Now which way do we go?
Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.
Dorothy: Who said that?
Dorothy: Don’t be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don’t talk.
Scarecrow: [points other way] It’s pleasant down that way, too.
Dorothy: That’s funny. Wasn’t he pointing the other way?
Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.

Whether others around me have a direct route from point A to point B, this my friends –  is just not my way.  Regardless of who or what is driving it (be it me or a supernatural power), I take detours which propel me to another place and another place and another…..and eventually, after all is said and done and I’m exhausted from the journey –  I bestow upon Emerald City.
Anyone else experience this too?  In my earlier years I was frustrated with this model, asking myself questions like, “why is it so difficult?”, “why does everyone else have it so easy?”, “when am I going to find it (it = love, sexuality, stability, career, etc)?”  But at 33, approaching 34 what I’ve realized is this – this path is GOOD!  NO!  Actually it’s FANTASTIC!  To have been able to navigate on the curvy as opposed to straight has provided me with the experience of trying many things on until finding what’s “JUSSSSST RIGHT” (insert Goldilocks reference here).  I’ve been fortunate to gain insight to understanding that even though the road is/was windy, staying the course and being true to your core will get you to where you want to be.  I have encountered many obstacles (coming out being the hardest twist so far), but I continued to work through it and am now married to the love of my life, comfortable in my skin (the most valuable accomplishment in all of it) and feel ready to take on the world.  It will hurt and feel uncomfortable at times… may even get squirmy and have to regress for a moment before moving forward, but KEEP GOING!  No matter what it is you decide that you want, you can have it.  You may not get back to Kansas in one straight shot, but this is part of the journey.  Put on your game face, embrace it and saddle up like Dorothy. You’ll come back with more heart, more brains and more courage.  We have one life to live and no one ever said it would be easy.  Seek it and you shall find.


golden globes 2013…

Ode to the black and white trend coming down the pipeline for Spring 2013.  Some of my favorite Golden Globe looks tonight – Kate Hudson as the clear front runner in my book and Nicole Kidman a VERY close second.  What are your favorites?

Kate-Hudson-Black-Golden-Globes-2013Kate Hudson in Alexander McQueen

Nicole-Kidman-Golden-Globes-2013-PicturesNicole Kidman in Alexander McQueen

70th Annual Golden Globe Awards - ArrivalsOlivia Munn in Armani

Screen Shot 2013-01-13 at 9.22.53 PMJulianne Moore in Tom Ford

70th Annual Golden Globe Awards - ArrivalsKristen Wiig in Michael Kors McPhee in Theysken’s Theory

30 day (mental) cleanse…

I am not alone in feeling that January is an ideal time to cleanse. A new year, a clean slate, a time to regroup and “start over”. A ‘cleanse’ or ‘detox’ can mean many things to many different people. Maybe you are just breaking off from a relationship and beginning anew romantically. Or maybe you’ve just given up smoking. Perhaps you’ve decided that 2013 is the year to lose those pesky 5lbs that have monopolized your thoughts in 2012! Maybe you will start an exercise routine or resolve an argument that just went on too long. The examples are endless, but unquestionably personal. Starting this year (1/1/13) I decided to go alcohol free (end date TBD)! I’ve done this exercise two times before (for 30 days at a time) and although I admit original intentions were physical benefits (give body a break, clean out toxins, regain energy, sleep better and if lucky lose a few pounds), what I truly gained from the experiences were mental ones. The truth is this: if you are a person like myself who appreciates taking the edge off with a drink (or whatever your vice of choice is), eliminating it from your life helps put into perspective your relationship to that habit. It gives you time to assess why you engage in what you’re doing, what purpose does it serve whether positive or negative and how do you cope with and without it. You are welcomed with the opportunity to clear your head while simultaneously finding healthier substitutions to your normal cadence. Unhealthy habits take over all of us and it is only when you try and stop that you can make sense of the dependency. It is day 12 for me and I’m going strong. Last night we had a dinner party with friends and the temptation of a drink was there. I wanted it – trust me! Not a norm to refrain but a useful test to force me to be embrace the raw uninterrupted version of myself. And I had a blast! I encourage you to think about what your coping mechanisms are and further evaluate whether they are worth giving up. Even if it’s just a moment of walking away so that you gain insight, perspective and an awareness of yourself when you come back to it and another step towards strengthening your most important relationship – the one with yourself.

Would love to hear some of your methods of cleansing too. Don’t forget to share!