For all who know me I think we’d agree that my path has not been straight and narrow (pun intended). I wonder if that’s by choice or a higher power above is guiding me along the way.
Do you ever wonder about that? Like no matter what you do it’s irrelevant because it’s predetermined? Or maybe not? Maybe I’m responsible for it all. Or it’s a combination of both?. Anyway, I digress.
I’m at a place in my life – approaching yet another intersection where new decisions will have to be made. I’m reminded of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz on the yellow brick road when she encounters the scarecrow.
The conversation went like this:
Dorothy: Now which way do we go?
Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.
Dorothy: Who said that?
Dorothy: Don’t be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don’t talk.
Scarecrow: [points other way] It’s pleasant down that way, too.
Dorothy: That’s funny. Wasn’t he pointing the other way?
Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.
Whether others around me have a direct route from point A to point B, this my friends – is just not my way. Regardless of who or what is driving it (be it me or a supernatural power), I take detours which propel me to another place and another place and another…..and eventually, after all is said and done and I’m exhausted from the journey – I bestow upon Emerald City.
Anyone else experience this too? In my earlier years I was frustrated with this model, asking myself questions like, “why is it so difficult?”, “why does everyone else have it so easy?”, “when am I going to find it (it = love, sexuality, stability, career, etc)?” But at 33, approaching 34 what I’ve realized is this – this path is GOOD! NO! Actually it’s FANTASTIC! To have been able to navigate on the curvy as opposed to straight has provided me with the experience of trying many things on until finding what’s “JUSSSSST RIGHT” (insert Goldilocks reference here). I’ve been fortunate to gain insight to understanding that even though the road is/was windy, staying the course and being true to your core will get you to where you want to be. I have encountered many obstacles (coming out being the hardest twist so far), but I continued to work through it and am now married to the love of my life, comfortable in my skin (the most valuable accomplishment in all of it) and feel ready to take on the world. It will hurt and feel uncomfortable at times…..you may even get squirmy and have to regress for a moment before moving forward, but KEEP GOING! No matter what it is you decide that you want, you can have it. You may not get back to Kansas in one straight shot, but this is part of the journey. Put on your game face, embrace it and saddle up like Dorothy. You’ll come back with more heart, more brains and more courage. We have one life to live and no one ever said it would be easy. Seek it and you shall find.